Today I met with my counselor at UVU to make sure that I am all squared away from graduation, and unfortunately, I am.
I say unfortunately, because it means that that part of my life I've been thinking about for years, the part that was always "when I move up to Logan", "when I'm doing my BA", is here, and it's not just a possibility anymore, and I'm totally freaked out, you guys. I am so freaked out. All of the sudden I have to make all of these decisions and pay for all of these things and I have to decide what books to take with me? It sucks.
Don't get me wrong, I am excited to move, sort of, but I'm mostly just freaked out and worried that I'm going to mess it up and wind up living with my parents again, going to UVU to get some degree I don't care about so I can go live a terrible life doing something I'm not excited about. How terrible would that be?
Every time I think about something I have to do or getting ready to go up there, I have a miniature panic attack and look for a reason to stay here and not go, but I seriously can't find one. I guess that's a good thing? I guess I should be glad I can't find a reason not to go. I'll probably just keep having those until I am driving to Logan to move into my apartment and finally just drive my car into a telephone pole and run out in the show with no jacket on.